


If I Lose Myself

by Stareena



Series: VIP Pass [2]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alpha/Omega, Background Destiel, Caring Sam, F/M, Heat Sex, M/M, Multi, Omega Verse, presenting, slick
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-04
Updated: 2017-08-04
Packaged: 2018-12-10 21:15:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,039
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11700045
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stareena/pseuds/Stareena
Summary: This is for the square for the SPN ABO Bingo: SlickEmily is in Heat and hast the help of the Alphas and Betas to work through her presentation/first Heat. Drusilla is coming to terms with their predicament while she decides to feed and clean her friend during her Heat.





	If I Lose Myself

It felt early in the morning when Drusilla opened her eyes. The sounds of a squeaking bed and groaning voices greeting her. Sighing, Drusilla tried to roll over to ignore it. It did nothing to dim the noise. It served to do nothing but reinforce the idea that she was here and there was no going home. Oddly, she was at peace with that. It was the sex thing she was bothered with at the moment. The idea that Emily was being used against her will. Laying on her back she took a deep breath and focused on the words that Chuck spoke to her the night before. Emphasizing that he would not allow Emily to be used. That this was for her own good, that Drusilla could help to see for herself. She wanted to help, she did but she was afraid. Afraid of what she would see. Afraid she was right and there was no way she could help her friend.

The knock at her door startled her enough to make her sit up but she rolled over to ignore it. There was another knock. Pouting she felt all sorts of conflicted. She was excited, she was devastated, she was aroused, she was cold. She hated this back and forth, all she wanted was some consistency.

“Drusilla?” Looking over her shoulder she saw Castiel, a very dishelved Castiel peeking his head in at her, “May I come in?”

“Yes.” She sat up slowly, keeping herself covered and her eyes on the Angel. His dark hair was mused, the tee shirt and sweat pants he was wearing were thrown on hastily. There was something soft about him at the moment.

“Chuck asked me to look in on you. May I sit?” He pointed to the chair at the desk. Nodding she remembered that the Angels and Chuck… GOD, would be listening.

‘ _I’m fine, really._ ’ She projected to Chuck. Castiel paused for a moment before sitting down and looking at the sleepy woman.

“Are you?” He asked, his face scrunched with emotion.

“It was a lot to process at once.” Drusilla replied.

“I understand.” He sat back.

“Did you endure being human?” Drusilla asked bluntly.

“I did lose my Grace, yes.” Castiel nodded, “I was fortunate to have had it restored.”

Sitting back against the headboard, Drusilla considered this, between that and when the boys were thrown into the Alternative world, those are the only ways anyone would understand what she and Emily were going through.

“How…”

“Chuck explained that you and Emily were fans of the show in your world and were familiar with the lives and times of the Winchesters.” Castiel explained.

“Don’t you find that, strange?”

“No stranger than some of the things we have faced in the past.”

“But… are we something to face?” Drusilla asked.

“I… I see you both as an interesting turn of events. But I truly do not believe either one of you are evil. “

Looking at her lap, Drusilla felt her eyes sting, “Thank you.” She muttered softly.

“Are you…? Human emotions still sometimes escape me but can… is there something I can do for you?” Castiel stood up walking closer towards the bed.

Wiping her face Drusilla shook her head, ‘No.’ Castiel hesitated for a moment before sitting on the bed and slowly moving to wrap his arms around her.

“Is, is this okay?” He asked holding her awkwardly. Drusilla smiled, despite the tears that were falling. Moving her arms up, she held Castiel in her arms, and rested her head on his shoulder.

“Now it’s okay.” She replied. After several minutes the Angel dislodged himself, which was disappointing to her. All he did was stretch out on the bed before he pulled her down into his arms, “Cas, what…”

“Here, this will be more comfortable.” His gravely voice combined with his appearance was doing things to her libido but she controlled herself before lying down, facing him.

It was quiet between them as they lay together. Gently, Castiel ran his fingers along her skin, brushing her hair back from her face. Blinking up into his blue eyes, she wondered if this was what life would be like in the pack.

“Yes.” Castiel replied softly, moving hair from her face.

“How do you know what I’m thinking?” She asked.

“I don’t, I am privy to your prayers and longings. I feel that you perhaps are longing for a sense of family. Or the pack.” Castiel’s hand lowered to her lips, tracing them softly.

“I’m scared.”

“You’d be a fool not to be.”

“That’s not very reassuring, Cas.”

“Apologies,” He dropped his hand in favor of hold Drusilla’s, “Know that if you choose to join us, you will be cared for, you will want for nothing and you will be as safe as we can possibly keep you. Do keep in mind we are limited but with God, two Archangels, a Seraph, a Vampire and two human hunters, I say we stand to do a good job in keeping you and Emily safe.”

Drusilla chuckled.

“How is Emily doing?”

“She is doing very well. Would you like to help me make breakfast and take some food into the room for her? Help clean her up and see her for yourself?”

“I… I don’t know if I want to see her. But I’ll help earn my keep and make breakfast.” Drusilla sat up before Castiel grabbed her wrist.

“You don’t have to earn your keep here, you are not a play toy, you owe nothing to no one. Remember that. If you contribute to the pack it’s because you want to make the pack successful.”

Nodding her head slowly she was a little stunned at the action but she took the words to heart.

“Cas, is there even room in the pack for a… null?” She asked, looking at where he was still holding on to her.

“I don’t believe you are a null. I believe you haven’t presented yet. Like Emily, I believe you will present as something. Even if you don’t there is always room for people. Designation or no, you are welcome in the pack.”

“What does… null mean?” She looked up at him.

“It means that you have no scent, you have no designation, you have no Heats, no Ruts. It means you cannot carry pups…”

Drusilla pulled her hand away from Castiel and wrapped them around her mid section.

“We should start making breakfast.” Getting up out of bed, Drusilla walked over to her suitcase, grabbing a pair of jeans, a bra and a tee shirt before glancing over at Castiel briefly. Seeing as he wasn’t leaving, she huffed and turned her back on him before changing quickly.

Tying her Chuck Taylors, she straightened up and looked at Castiel, realizing the Angel was watching her closely. A little too closely. What had she been thinking about? Was it the pups? Blanking her mind, she nodded to Castiel before heading for the door, hoping there was a way she could keep the God Squad out of her head.

The kitchen wasn’t empty at this hour. Dean was already up and making breakfast, enjoying a cup of coffee while moving around the kitchen with the ease of a person who knew where everything was and was in control of everything.

“Morning.” He chirped as she walked in, Angel in tow. “Morning blue eyes.” They shared a brief morning kiss as Castiel walked over to pour himself a cup of coffee.

“I thought Angels didn’t need to eat.” Drusilla spoke up as she poured a glass of orange juice.

“It’s an acquired taste from my human days that I still posses.” Castiel added a little sugar with his coffee, “Plus I find that I am not much of a morning person even if I sleep or not.” He took a tentative sip of the mug.

“Interesting.” Drusilla turned and took a sip of her juice, “Did you want or need help with breakfast?” She asked Dean.

“Nah, I do this every morning, more or less. But if you’re willing to take food into the den of inequity, then by all means…” Dean motioned to a waiting tray. Walking over to a waiting plate, Drusilla filled it up with lots of food and as an after thought, grabbed two extra plates, stacking them underneath the food plate and setting them on the tray.

“Where’s the blood for Benny and is there anything I need to do with it?” She asked.

“Fridge, bottom shelf. Place it in a warm bowl of water if you want to make him happy to warm it up.”

Drusilla frowned. Walking to the fridge she found the crate that held the specific blood type bags and grabbed one.

“He only needs one?” She asked from the fridge.

“Yeah, he usually has one a day.” Dean popped a piece of bacon in his mouth, scrambling up some egg whites for his brother, mixing in some veggies.

Pulling the blood bag out she turned it over in her hands before closing the fridge with her foot. In a quick movement, she rucked up her shirt and tucked the blood bag under her bra, setting it between her breasts to warm. Pulling her shirt down, she looked up at the shocked look on the brothers faces.

“Lucky vamp.” Sam muttered before taking a bite of toast while Castiel merely chuckled.

Walking over to the tray, she picked it up, making sure she had everything.

“Let me help you.” Castiel jumped up, “We need to take them fluids any way.”

“Oh.” Drusilla had forgotten that.

“And we should take some cloths to help clean them up with too.” Castiel spoke up.

“Do you want me to go in for a while, give you and Dean some time?” Sam piped up.

Castiel looked at the tall hunter and smiled, “I’d like that Sam, if it is not too much trouble,” he looked over at the older hunter, “It’s been far too long since Dean and I had some alone time.”

Dean blushed, grinning over his mug. Sam stood up, shoving the rest of his toast in his mouth and bushing the crumbs on his shirt.

“I’ll come back for his eggs,” Drusilla said softly, “if you leave them covered.”

Dean nodded, keeping his eyes on the angel.

Sam grabbed the bottle of orange juice and set it on top of the flat of water Castiel had pulled out, Sam and Drusilla took the food and walked towards the room together.

“I uh, wanted to apologize for last night.” Sam said softly.

“Why?” Drusilla asked looking up at him.

“I… I didn’t mean to frighten you or, pull you into things like that. Not… that way I suppose.” His face scrunched up. “I… it shouldn’t have been like that.”

“It’s fine. You didn’t hold me hostage or do anything against my will.”

“You’re… Okay?” He looked at her with gentle eyes.

Stopping in front of Emily’s door, Drusilla huffed, “Well, I’m still in shock at the frankly alarming size of Sam Jr…”

Sam smirked, embarrassed.

“…I can’t even refer to him as little Sam…”

“Come on.” He blushed bright red.

“…Seriously what do you feed it?” She grinned at him.

“Are you… okay?” He asked her again.

“Seriously, I, despite all the weird of the last 24 hours, am fine,” She looked at the door, “Walking into a room to watch my best friend get the train by a bunch of dudes we’ve fantasized about for years, that’s still a bit high on the weird scale.”

Sam chuckled again.

“Well, this is the norm for us. Heat or Rut, we take turns, we rotate out so that no one is exhausted or gets injured. Everyone stays hydrated and everyone stays fit and safe.”

“Safe, sane and consensual.” Drusilla nodded. Sam side eyed her for a moment before opening the door and walking in. The sight of Emily on her hands and knees, head pulled back by the hair as Lucifer was fucking hard into her greeted Drusilla’s eyes as she stepped in behind him. The sounds of flesh slapping, springs creaking and people moaning turned up to 11 and slammed into Drusilla. Walking in slowly, she tried to advert her eyes, focusing on not dropping the food and walking to the desk.

Walk to the desk. Walk to the desk. Walk to the desk.

“KNOT ME ALPH! FUCK! I NEED IT, PLEASE! YOUR… OH SHIT! IT’S SO... UGH… IT IT HURTS! OH FUCK! YES! ALPHA!” Emily screamed in between the low growls Lucifer was muttering.

“Take my knot, Omega, you want it don’t you? Yeah you do. Want my big fat knot. Want me to breed you up so fat with my knot? Want my pups? Want me to fill you up with my seed? Make you round with my pups? Take my knot. I’m going to pop my knot in your cunt, locking me in so deep. So fucking deep. You feel so good around my knot, Omega. Yes, take me. Fuck yeah. Yes, take all of me.”

Blinking owlishly, Drusilla could only stare at the pair as they continued their coupling.

“Dru?” Sam caught her attention by taking the tray from her hands before she dropped everything. He smiled softly at her before she felt her face heat up. Benny walked over as did Chuck.

“Any toast?” Chuck asked. Drusilla stepped back to give the room as she took the cloths and the bowl and walked towards the sink, setting them out of the way for when they were both done.

“OH I’M COMING ALPHA!”

“Shit, you’re milking me so good, little Omega. Fuck!”

Drusilla jumped at their voices making Benny place a hand on her shoulder.

“You okay Cher?”

“Just… not used to this.”

“Never been part of a gangbang?” He smirked.

“A threesome, once.” She blushed. Benny raised an eyebrow.

“Did Dean have you bring me…” He looked over at the tray.

“Oh! Yes, hang on.” Reaching under her shirt she felt the front of the bag and found it was still pretty cool, “It’s not warmed all the way yet.”

Benny’s eyes were locked to her chest, forefinger pointing.

“Is my bag…”

“Yes.”

Moving his forefinger and thumb to his lips he kept his eyes locked on her chest, “Cher, you are making a hands off situation on you really, really hard.” His eyes were totally black and his smile predatory.

“Flatterer.” She smiled.

“What’s wrong?” Chuck walked over munching on toast.

“She has my breakfast.” Benny looked over at the god.

“I’m warming it for him. Seemed more efficient this way.”

“Good idea. Water doesn’t work as well.” Chuck nodded before walking over to a chair and picking up his book to resume where he last left off, “Give it another seven minutes and it should be ready. Or you could cuddle and it’ll go faster.”

“Dru?”

Looking over at the bed, Emily was on her side with a smug Archangel behind her.

“Em! How are you?” Drusilla ran to her side, kneeling next to the bed, running her fingers through Emily’s hair.

“Tired but good. These guys are really helping me. This has been fucking amazing! I feel so good!” A movement from Lucifer caused her to moan and Lucifer to chuckle, “Fucker,” She looked back at him, “Anyway how are you? Are you okay? Are you done?”

“Done with what?”

“Presenting? I figured we both did it at the same time.”

“No… I… I haven’t. I… brought you food and I’m going to clean you up.” She smiled and turned to collect the bowl she had placed at the sink. Filling up the bowl she wetted one cloth and brought a dry one over and repeated the steps that she took with Sam and Dean the night before, cleaning Emily and Lucifer both as they laid on the bed and ate. Halfway through she relinquished the blood bag to Benny so that he could eat as well.

Once Lucifer’s knot went down, she provided him with a cloth that he could clean up with while Drusilla cleaned Emily up.

“What is this stuff?” She asked as Lucifer was taking care of himself.

“Slick. Omegas make it. When they are aroused or in Heat they make a ton of it. It makes them ready for sex.” Lucifer purred in her ear.

“It’s everywhere.” Drusilla whispered.

“Well, she is in Heat.”

Drusilla tried cleaning it all up but the more she cleaned the more Emily seemed to produce. It just seemed to literally gush from her. It was slippery, not sticky and had a sweet smell to it. Not quite floral but not quiet candy.

“You can taste it if you want.” Lucifer suggested. “Or, you can apply some to yourself if you want to get laid.”

“What?”

“Well, for instances, some Alphas that want to fuck other Alphas, in place of lube, will use slick, if they have a good trusted friend.” Lucifer smiled, sitting back against the wall, “So there is no shame if you want to borrow some of hers if you want to fuck one of us.”

Drusilla stood up and felt the eyes of the room on her.

“I… I’m fine. Thanks.”

“Dru.” Emily sat up.

“Feel better, Em.” Drusilla left, realizing that there was nothing she could do for her friend, not anymore. The boys could tend to her urges and could give her food and water.

The door opened behind her.

“Dru?”

Turning she found Sam had come out after her.

“I’m fine Sam,” She offered a weak smile, “Just… not used to this world… just yet.”

“Well…” He looked over his shoulder at Emily’s room, “Do you want to… talk? Watch movies in my room?”

“What about Emily?”

“She’s got plenty of help.” Sam stepped forward.

“Don’t you need to help your… pack?” Drusilla turned and started heading for her bedroom.

Stepping in front of Drusilla, stopping her, Sam looked down, “I am, helping my pack.” He tilted her chin up towards his face, “Come to my room.”

“Okay.” She said softly.

Taking her hand, Sam pulled her slowly towards him, as he walked backwards towards his room.

**Author's Note:**

> Spotify Playlist: https://open.spotify.com/user/stareena/playlist/3uuuZxnIOO6OHbjh0VQ6Bo


End file.
